So, my husband has been home for a little over 6 weeks, and things have been non-stop chaos. There was the wonderful reunion, the honeymoon period, FANTASTIC sex, blah, blah, blah. The twins have readjusted beautifully, and Robby is actually calling Drew "Daddy" almost exclusively now (it's about time after 3 1/2 years!). And now there's real life.
We are broke. Countless soirees, the Ball, honeymoon purchases, Christmas shopping, and all those damn medical bills (that's another story), (oh, and of course there's that 5 weeks we went without a paycheck) have rendered us nearly penniless.
Kieran has visited the ER twice in the past 2 months. The first time was when he got into Robby's meds and ate an Adderall, making him crack-baby-for-a-day. That was 8 unpleasent hours wasted (and $600). Then, a month later, Robby threw a D-cell battery at his head and split the skin, requiring a 7 hour visit for TWO STITCHES (and $1900)! [Look at the difference between prices for a teaching -vs- private hospital!!!! Thank God for health insurance -- we only owe 20 percent of those bills!]
So then, last Saturday, Devin comes down with the flu. It starts off as a high fever and cough and turns into wheezing and an asthma attack. She was admitted to the children's hospital and stayed for 3 days to be on oxygen (her O2 saturation levels were dipping down to 85 percent) and IV antibiotics (somehow an ear infection popped up among all this!). [oh, and then Drew lost his new job the morning after Devin was admitted.]
So, she came home on Wednesday evening, and then Friday morning, Kieran spikes a 104 fever!!! And a cough, and a headache (he puts his hands over his eyes and says "ow-ow-ow!"). It's the flu. Again. Finally Drew and I realized that we must have it too, albeit milder, cuz since Wednesday, we have both felt like shit with eye headaches..
So now I'm taking every precaution to make sure we don't spend Christams in the hospital with HIM! Humidifier, nebulizer treatments, vapor rub, plenty of rest and fluids... all that jazz. He has asthmatic tendancies, too, so we'll just have to wait and see. But now he has diarrhea and threw up on me while I was putting him to bed. OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO BE BARFED AND SHAT UPON AT CHRISTMASTIME!!!
So, of course, we had to cancel our Holiday party that was supposed to be going on right this second. No sense giving our friends the flu for a present.
It's going to be a lovely Christmas. :(
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
5 more days!!!
Happy Halloween!...(even though my Drew won't be here to trick-or-treat with us and have crazy Halloween sex [with me - duh]).
Only 5 more days and I'll be squeezing my hunny again! HOORAY!!! Yesterday I got a phone call from his CELL PHONE. What a glorious thing to see on the caller ID! We have been able to talk several times without a voice delay OR strict time constraints. It was so nice to be able to just pillow talk with him. We are both so much more relaxed now that he's back in the USA. Just 4 more days of decompression in Lejeune and then he's MINE again!
And this is when I realize just how badly I have been procrastinating with the homecoming preparations. I have 3 more school days to finish the house, and one weekend-day to finish everything else (yard, etc., hint-hint, Uncle Wolf!). Gotta clean out & wash the van, shampoo carpets, finish mountains of laundry, clean up the porches, get our bedroom (AKA sancuary of sweet lovin') ready, do all my silly beauty treaments... aaah! The list is neverending! And all the while I am nervous and excited and needing a sedative!
So, I am busy. Anyone who can/will lend a hand would be forever appreciated, btw. ;) I CAN'T WAIT TO HOLD MY HUBBY AGAIN!!!!!
And now, I must work.
- CRAZY Mrs. Sgt. Neilson -AKA- Glowstick's wife (heeheehee)
Only 5 more days and I'll be squeezing my hunny again! HOORAY!!! Yesterday I got a phone call from his CELL PHONE. What a glorious thing to see on the caller ID! We have been able to talk several times without a voice delay OR strict time constraints. It was so nice to be able to just pillow talk with him. We are both so much more relaxed now that he's back in the USA. Just 4 more days of decompression in Lejeune and then he's MINE again!
And this is when I realize just how badly I have been procrastinating with the homecoming preparations. I have 3 more school days to finish the house, and one weekend-day to finish everything else (yard, etc., hint-hint, Uncle Wolf!). Gotta clean out & wash the van, shampoo carpets, finish mountains of laundry, clean up the porches, get our bedroom (AKA sancuary of sweet lovin') ready, do all my silly beauty treaments... aaah! The list is neverending! And all the while I am nervous and excited and needing a sedative!
So, I am busy. Anyone who can/will lend a hand would be forever appreciated, btw. ;) I CAN'T WAIT TO HOLD MY HUBBY AGAIN!!!!!
And now, I must work.
- CRAZY Mrs. Sgt. Neilson -AKA- Glowstick's wife (heeheehee)
Friday, October 20, 2006
Drew's Homecoming
Okay, it's official (supposedly, haha). Drew will be arriving at NAS-JAX on Sunday, November 6th. YAY!!! Only 15 more days without him! When the day comes, we will have been apart for 224 days. Holy shit-balls! That's 7 1/2 months without cuddling, companionship, or sex!!! Good God Almighty! I'm definately not looking forward to EVER having to do this again. It has been one rough year. The entire deployment will have been 11 1/2 months. Yich.
I have never been so over-worked in my life, even when I was a single mom working full time. I will be so relieved to have him back here to take on his half of the duties again. 'Cause even with all the help I have gotten, I've still managed to over-exert myself to the point of dislodging a rib, breaking one ankle, and spraining the other! I had never broken a bone in my life! My poor body just can't handle this life alone. I'll be gald when my other half is back again to make me whole (no pun intended). :)
I'm trying right now not to think about the obstacles that await us with Drew's readjustment period. Most of my worries revolve around the kids: how long it will take for the twins to warm up to him again, whether it's going to overwhelm him to hear the chaos that takes place around our house around dinner-bath-bed-times. The discipline with the three feisty trouble-makers that we have is always fun, too. And let's not forget the household chores. He needs to be ready to jump right back in to the dishes, trash, lawn and other misc. tasks.
Of course I will allow him time to readjust and rest, but I can't wait on him hand and foot AND take care of the kids forever, especially with my ankles messed up. PLUS, before he left he wanted me to start teaching him how to cook and do laundry (properly), so he could help ease some of those burdens for me. So he will be busy, and not to mention he has to find a better job than he had before so we can LIVE!
Well, we've got a lot on our plates, and the homecoming will be both blissful AND stressful, for all of us. I just hope we have the sterngth to deal with it as it comes.
I have never been so over-worked in my life, even when I was a single mom working full time. I will be so relieved to have him back here to take on his half of the duties again. 'Cause even with all the help I have gotten, I've still managed to over-exert myself to the point of dislodging a rib, breaking one ankle, and spraining the other! I had never broken a bone in my life! My poor body just can't handle this life alone. I'll be gald when my other half is back again to make me whole (no pun intended). :)
I'm trying right now not to think about the obstacles that await us with Drew's readjustment period. Most of my worries revolve around the kids: how long it will take for the twins to warm up to him again, whether it's going to overwhelm him to hear the chaos that takes place around our house around dinner-bath-bed-times. The discipline with the three feisty trouble-makers that we have is always fun, too. And let's not forget the household chores. He needs to be ready to jump right back in to the dishes, trash, lawn and other misc. tasks.
Of course I will allow him time to readjust and rest, but I can't wait on him hand and foot AND take care of the kids forever, especially with my ankles messed up. PLUS, before he left he wanted me to start teaching him how to cook and do laundry (properly), so he could help ease some of those burdens for me. So he will be busy, and not to mention he has to find a better job than he had before so we can LIVE!
Well, we've got a lot on our plates, and the homecoming will be both blissful AND stressful, for all of us. I just hope we have the sterngth to deal with it as it comes.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
OH MY GOD MY ANKLE IS BROKEN!!!
Okay, so, apparently I have been walking around on a BROKEN ankle for THREE WEEKS!! Holy shiznit! For those of you that don't know how it happened, here's the story:
On Wednesday, September 27, I was being a good little mamma and playing with my kids in the backyard; swings, slide, etc. And as I was trying to guide my tiny daughter down the monsterous slide, our beloved dog, Brigit, decided it would be fun to jump up on Mommy from behind. Well, our feisty little 55-pound pup likes to jump on people, and the vet has instructed us to knee her in the chest to discourage it. Well, what's a gal to do when the dog jumps up from behind? Naturally, I threw my foot back at her, and CRACK went my ankle against her ELBOW BONES! Needless to say, it hurt, and I fell down, hyperventilating, and couldn't get up. My wonderful friend Allison just happened to call 2 minutes later and said "I'll be right over!" So she helped me get the kids fed, bathed, and put to bed. **Thanks again!**
Anyway, I waited and waited for it to feel better, and finally went to the doc about 9 days after it happened. She ordered an x-ray that came back negative, but due to the fact that the pain was excruciating and NOT getting better, she ordered and MRI. So yesterday I endured my SECOND MRI in 4 months (had one on my back in June) -- yuccchh. And today they call and say "You DO have a fracture -- we missed it on the x-ray -- you need to see an orthopedic surgeon right away!"
So now I'm waiting to find out if I'll be wearing a cast when I jump into my husband's arms in 16 days and hurl my lead foot around his waist. Heehee... GREEEAAT! (note sarcasm)... And I pray they will saw it off before the ball! Won't I be elegant in my formal gown and ONE high heel, and on crutches! Grrr...
Yeah, and the doc said "Stay off of it." Riiiiiiight. Yeah, I can do THAT with 3 kids and my husband 3000 miles away. Uh-huh.
Anyway, hope you all enjoyed that little anecdote. I call it "How I Broke My Ankle Kicking the Dog." hardee-har-har.
*sigh*
On Wednesday, September 27, I was being a good little mamma and playing with my kids in the backyard; swings, slide, etc. And as I was trying to guide my tiny daughter down the monsterous slide, our beloved dog, Brigit, decided it would be fun to jump up on Mommy from behind. Well, our feisty little 55-pound pup likes to jump on people, and the vet has instructed us to knee her in the chest to discourage it. Well, what's a gal to do when the dog jumps up from behind? Naturally, I threw my foot back at her, and CRACK went my ankle against her ELBOW BONES! Needless to say, it hurt, and I fell down, hyperventilating, and couldn't get up. My wonderful friend Allison just happened to call 2 minutes later and said "I'll be right over!" So she helped me get the kids fed, bathed, and put to bed. **Thanks again!**
Anyway, I waited and waited for it to feel better, and finally went to the doc about 9 days after it happened. She ordered an x-ray that came back negative, but due to the fact that the pain was excruciating and NOT getting better, she ordered and MRI. So yesterday I endured my SECOND MRI in 4 months (had one on my back in June) -- yuccchh. And today they call and say "You DO have a fracture -- we missed it on the x-ray -- you need to see an orthopedic surgeon right away!"
So now I'm waiting to find out if I'll be wearing a cast when I jump into my husband's arms in 16 days and hurl my lead foot around his waist. Heehee... GREEEAAT! (note sarcasm)... And I pray they will saw it off before the ball! Won't I be elegant in my formal gown and ONE high heel, and on crutches! Grrr...
Yeah, and the doc said "Stay off of it." Riiiiiiight. Yeah, I can do THAT with 3 kids and my husband 3000 miles away. Uh-huh.
Anyway, hope you all enjoyed that little anecdote. I call it "How I Broke My Ankle Kicking the Dog." hardee-har-har.
*sigh*
Thursday, October 12, 2006
TWO HUNDRED days
Holy SHIT!!! It's been 200 days since I last saw my husband. Jeez, it's been quite a while since my last blog, too. By the way, happy birthday to my favorite Uncle, Drunkle Wolf. He's the only one of Drew's friends who has cared enough to (regularly) help ease my burdens while he's away.
There are only about 3 more weeks until Drew's homecoming -- HOORAY!!! It's so exciting but so nerve-wracking at the same time. There is so much to do to prepare for the homecoming that I am overwhelmed and just want to shut down most of the time. On the other hand, though, the time is creeping by, and I think the next three weeks are going to be the longest of my life.
I could never have made it this far without my girls, though. Me and 3 of the other unit ladies have been hanging out like it's cool, and it is! We are ALL lonely and sex-deprived and exhausted and missing our men... something NO ONE ELSE understands. Our friendships have formed fast and deep, as we are bonding over such a unique situation. So here's to you (in alphabetical order, of course), Allison, Jessica, and Valerie. I love you guys and I couldn't have made it through without y'all! Better to be bored together than alone, right?
Anyway, I've been very busy lately. Me and the girls are getting together at LEAST twice a week, and there's the military support group bi-weekly, Twin's Club Mom's Night Out monthly (of which I am now in charge, tyvm), working out (or trying to) 3 times a week, chauffeuring the kids to and from school, attempting to domesticate my wild puppy, etc., etc...
So time flies when I'm busy. It's just those seemingly endless lulls between activities that get me. When household responsibilities stare me in the face and I resist them, procrastinating as usual (Allison, you know what that's like...:)). I just want to sleep, to make the time pass. And let's not forget my poor ankles!!! One I injured kicking the dog off of me a few weeks ago and it's still hurting; getting worse, not better. And then 3 days later, I went out dancing with the girls and twisted the OTHER ankle while slightly tipsy and walking around in platforms. The twisted one is better, but the banged one friggin' HURTS! I's really getting in the way of housework.
Well, gotta go make myself useful.
There are only about 3 more weeks until Drew's homecoming -- HOORAY!!! It's so exciting but so nerve-wracking at the same time. There is so much to do to prepare for the homecoming that I am overwhelmed and just want to shut down most of the time. On the other hand, though, the time is creeping by, and I think the next three weeks are going to be the longest of my life.
I could never have made it this far without my girls, though. Me and 3 of the other unit ladies have been hanging out like it's cool, and it is! We are ALL lonely and sex-deprived and exhausted and missing our men... something NO ONE ELSE understands. Our friendships have formed fast and deep, as we are bonding over such a unique situation. So here's to you (in alphabetical order, of course), Allison, Jessica, and Valerie. I love you guys and I couldn't have made it through without y'all! Better to be bored together than alone, right?
Anyway, I've been very busy lately. Me and the girls are getting together at LEAST twice a week, and there's the military support group bi-weekly, Twin's Club Mom's Night Out monthly (of which I am now in charge, tyvm), working out (or trying to) 3 times a week, chauffeuring the kids to and from school, attempting to domesticate my wild puppy, etc., etc...
So time flies when I'm busy. It's just those seemingly endless lulls between activities that get me. When household responsibilities stare me in the face and I resist them, procrastinating as usual (Allison, you know what that's like...:)). I just want to sleep, to make the time pass. And let's not forget my poor ankles!!! One I injured kicking the dog off of me a few weeks ago and it's still hurting; getting worse, not better. And then 3 days later, I went out dancing with the girls and twisted the OTHER ankle while slightly tipsy and walking around in platforms. The twisted one is better, but the banged one friggin' HURTS! I's really getting in the way of housework.
Well, gotta go make myself useful.
Saturday, September 2, 2006
lately...
I haven't blogged in a while, so I guess it's time. I've been "super-duper, twenty-hundred, super, SUPER" busy lately (<---quoting Robby there). I've graduated from physical therapy for my back and am on to massage therapy and a regular exercise regime. I'm wearing myself out at the gym and having some sharp pains in my back again, but my butt's getting firmer (hooray!!). Hope I blow Drew away with my new HARD BODY when he gets home (note sarcasm).
I've been getting a lot of help from various military-related organizations, who have been bringing meals and paying for a cleaning service. That's REALLY helped a LOT. Now I have TIME to go to the gym and work on organizing all of our shit. I pretty much finished redecorating the master bedroom, dark red being the main color with browns and tans to accent. It's going to be such a nice sancuary for us when Drew gets home. Only TWO MORE MONTHS, by the way! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now that I have an approximate return time-frame, I really have something to look forward to, and I'm counting DOWN the days, instead of just UP. I'm feeling a little pressured to get certain things done in this timeframe, and that's good 'cause it's motivating. I haven't even cried in several weeks, I think, although that kinda worries me, as if it's been too long and the clouds are ready to burst at any moment.
Things, all around, have been better now that all this help has enabled me to gain control of my life (somewhat). Certain songs still make my heart wrench, and I really am not listening to a lot of country music lately because it's mostly too emotional for me. And I still don't want to hear about anyone else's romance/sex life, unless it's a lack thereof (because with THAT I can sympathize!)! I've basically become accustomed to being numb about other people's problems.
One certain friend has pointed out repeatedly that I have become a real bitch. Oh well. I don't have it in me to care. The only person I REALLY care about thinking I'm a bitch isn't around to see it, AND if he WERE here, I'm certain that bitch in me would pack her bags and make like a bird. So in the meantime, I guess I'll just be a bitch. People really should understand why. But they don't. I'm expected to go right on with my life with a big damn fake smile on my face and pretend that I'm not completely broken down inside.
But it's okay. Someday those people will have something horrible happen to them and I will be laughing inside. Yes, I am bitter. And a bitch. But so what? Love me or leave me. Karma will take care of the rest.
"So what if you can see / the darkest side of me / somebody help me tame this animal I have become.
"Somebody wake me from this nightmare / I can't escape this Hell..."
- Three Days Grace
I've been getting a lot of help from various military-related organizations, who have been bringing meals and paying for a cleaning service. That's REALLY helped a LOT. Now I have TIME to go to the gym and work on organizing all of our shit. I pretty much finished redecorating the master bedroom, dark red being the main color with browns and tans to accent. It's going to be such a nice sancuary for us when Drew gets home. Only TWO MORE MONTHS, by the way! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now that I have an approximate return time-frame, I really have something to look forward to, and I'm counting DOWN the days, instead of just UP. I'm feeling a little pressured to get certain things done in this timeframe, and that's good 'cause it's motivating. I haven't even cried in several weeks, I think, although that kinda worries me, as if it's been too long and the clouds are ready to burst at any moment.
Things, all around, have been better now that all this help has enabled me to gain control of my life (somewhat). Certain songs still make my heart wrench, and I really am not listening to a lot of country music lately because it's mostly too emotional for me. And I still don't want to hear about anyone else's romance/sex life, unless it's a lack thereof (because with THAT I can sympathize!)! I've basically become accustomed to being numb about other people's problems.
One certain friend has pointed out repeatedly that I have become a real bitch. Oh well. I don't have it in me to care. The only person I REALLY care about thinking I'm a bitch isn't around to see it, AND if he WERE here, I'm certain that bitch in me would pack her bags and make like a bird. So in the meantime, I guess I'll just be a bitch. People really should understand why. But they don't. I'm expected to go right on with my life with a big damn fake smile on my face and pretend that I'm not completely broken down inside.
But it's okay. Someday those people will have something horrible happen to them and I will be laughing inside. Yes, I am bitter. And a bitch. But so what? Love me or leave me. Karma will take care of the rest.
"So what if you can see / the darkest side of me / somebody help me tame this animal I have become.
"Somebody wake me from this nightmare / I can't escape this Hell..."
- Three Days Grace
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
"where'd you go?"
I heard this song for the first time sitting in the parking lot of Savannah Grande the day Shelby's little sister graduated high school. I heard it and my jaw nearly dropped. Even though it's about a musician's wife, the references to hating him being away all the time and her being sick of his career all ring true for me.
I think every deployed marine's wife entertains the idea of leaving once she has reached that point where she can't take it anymore. That certainly explains the "95 percent divorce rate in the first year of active duty." The military lifestyle is definately NOT condusive to a healthy marriage.
When I first heard those statistics, I was shocked and disbelieving. I couldn't understand how a strong marriage couldn't survive some separation, especially when it's not voluntary. But now I totally understand. I can't honestly say that if we didn't have children and I didn't depend on him financially if I wouldn't be pursuing my own life's happiness right now by trying to fill the void he has left in my life.
I guess it's a good thing we DO have children and I DO depend on him financially. 'Cause this lonliness and depression is really getting to me. I'm hangin' on by a thin thread. But, as they say, "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." I've tied the knot, and I'm hanging on for dear life.
I really don't have a lot of options, anyway. And I DO love him, more than he knows; more than anyone will ever know. I know I shouldn't be angry with him -- he didn't WANT to leave us. But he still did. And life goes on, with or without him. But without him, life blows.
I know he's worried about me cheating. The other day I had to remind him what's inside his wedding ring: "Semper Fidelis." For all you lay-people, that's latin for "always faithful," and it also happens to be the Marine Corps motto. Dual meaning there, sneaky me. If it weren't for him joining the marines, he never would've gone to war the first time and we never would've written and fell in love through the mail. We probably wouldn't be together. And by permanently inscribing this pledge inside his ring, I have cemented it in my mind that I WILL BE ALWAYS FAITHFUL. No matter how hard it is right now, I will keep my word.
And if you're wondering, inside my wedding ring it says "Loved You First." That goes back to how long he's been after me... 10 years he waited for me. One day he said "I love you" and I replied "I love you more!" and he came back with "Well, I loved YOU FIRST!" And so the running joke began. So sweet.
I'm just lonely and missing him and venting right now. This shit just plain sucks. I will survive somehow. I want to be strong and make him proud. I don't want us to become another statistic.
But damn, I can't wait for that homecoming. I dream about it a lot. How I will be sobbing and clinging to him saying "Don't you ever leave me again!!" Or maybe just thrilled and kissing him like there's no tomorrow. I don't really know. It never ends up being like I expect, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
"Where'd you go? I miss you so. Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone. Please come back home..."
I think every deployed marine's wife entertains the idea of leaving once she has reached that point where she can't take it anymore. That certainly explains the "95 percent divorce rate in the first year of active duty." The military lifestyle is definately NOT condusive to a healthy marriage.
When I first heard those statistics, I was shocked and disbelieving. I couldn't understand how a strong marriage couldn't survive some separation, especially when it's not voluntary. But now I totally understand. I can't honestly say that if we didn't have children and I didn't depend on him financially if I wouldn't be pursuing my own life's happiness right now by trying to fill the void he has left in my life.
I guess it's a good thing we DO have children and I DO depend on him financially. 'Cause this lonliness and depression is really getting to me. I'm hangin' on by a thin thread. But, as they say, "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." I've tied the knot, and I'm hanging on for dear life.
I really don't have a lot of options, anyway. And I DO love him, more than he knows; more than anyone will ever know. I know I shouldn't be angry with him -- he didn't WANT to leave us. But he still did. And life goes on, with or without him. But without him, life blows.
I know he's worried about me cheating. The other day I had to remind him what's inside his wedding ring: "Semper Fidelis." For all you lay-people, that's latin for "always faithful," and it also happens to be the Marine Corps motto. Dual meaning there, sneaky me. If it weren't for him joining the marines, he never would've gone to war the first time and we never would've written and fell in love through the mail. We probably wouldn't be together. And by permanently inscribing this pledge inside his ring, I have cemented it in my mind that I WILL BE ALWAYS FAITHFUL. No matter how hard it is right now, I will keep my word.
And if you're wondering, inside my wedding ring it says "Loved You First." That goes back to how long he's been after me... 10 years he waited for me. One day he said "I love you" and I replied "I love you more!" and he came back with "Well, I loved YOU FIRST!" And so the running joke began. So sweet.
I'm just lonely and missing him and venting right now. This shit just plain sucks. I will survive somehow. I want to be strong and make him proud. I don't want us to become another statistic.
But damn, I can't wait for that homecoming. I dream about it a lot. How I will be sobbing and clinging to him saying "Don't you ever leave me again!!" Or maybe just thrilled and kissing him like there's no tomorrow. I don't really know. It never ends up being like I expect, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
"Where'd you go? I miss you so. Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone. Please come back home..."
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