Feeling Scroogey Already - Holiday Stress

i have come to dread the holidays.  there are quite a few reasons, and i'm sure they are not unique.  in order to get then off my chest without whining to my friends during this month of gratitude, i shall make one of my beloved lists, right here in my very own corner of the interwebs.

~ the money issue ~

we are broke.  we have been broke for the past 4 years due to hubs being in college and our only income being grants and loans.  and of course, being paid a chunk of money at the beginning of the semester pretty much guaranteed that we were broke by the end of it. but our level of brokeness has increased as each year has gone by.  back in the day, i had a budget of $500 for xmas.  that seems extravagant to some and lame to others.  the budget declined over the years and well, last year it plummeted to $100.  i made it work, and i was actually quite pleased with the results.  we restricted the number of gifts to 3 per kid, and i scoured the thrift stores for weeks and weeks.  I ended up finding each child presents that they were thrilled to get, and they didn't care a stitch that they were secondhand.  I did buy a few knew things, but not a lot.  socks. toothbrushes. new crayons. dollar store trinkets for the stockings.

~ the time/energy/opportunity issue ~

so every year that we are broke, i have to find creative ways to provide gifts for our family members.  i have tons of craft supplies and could easily, between my husband and myself, be able to produce lovely gifts for everyone on our lists for little to nothing out of pocket for us.  but time and opportunity are a rare commodity around here.  so the handmade stuff usually ends up going to the extended family.  Last year they got hand-dipped beeswax tapers, handmade wool dryer balls, handmade (melt & pour) soaps, etc.  in the past i have done sugar free & fat free hot chocolate mix (bc all of the grandparents and aunts/uncles are more "diet" conscious than we are -- we prefer whole-ish/"real" foods and not over-processed chemical shitstorms), felted wool coasters, crocheted whimsical/unique bookmarks, knitted/crocheted scarves, inexpensive photobooks (from CVS) of the "best of 20XX", etc.  simple, quick stuff from supplies already onhand; things that are unique and infused with love.  but those particular things are not the best gifts for children (with the exception of the photobooks -- they have been a bit hit with the littles!).

~ is it worth it? ~

for children, i mean.  to make things.  my kids are slobs.  because of a combination of against-the-grain parenting philosophies, my desire to avoid conflict/take the path of least resistance, and my own laziness when my older children were younger, i have failed to establish good habits in my children.  habits regarding taking care of their items and their home environment.  if i am not on top of everything everyday by myself, the whole house goes to shit REALLY quickly.  so i try to supply my children with sturdy, high-quality, repairable toys so that they will withstand rough use and last a long time.  they still manage to break these toys.  an overabundance of clinical-level hyperactivity amongst my children does not help things (it also drives me batshit and i have to take sedatives to make it through some days without completely flipping out). so when it comes to handmaking playthings for them, i am apprehensive.  i have made many baby toys which have held up well bc they are simple crocheted/knitted or carved wood toys.  but then the simple dress-up clothes have not held up so so well.  drawstring to the cape goes missing and suddenly it's a useless piece of cloth.  the ladies full-skirted half-slip that was upcycled into a little girls dress-up ball gown got the petticoat ripped off of it, so now it is a short, "flapper" dress.  still loved, but disappointing to me.  the bendy dolls and gnomes that i have experimented with in the past have been taken and ruined, whether by having been left in the yard at the mercy of the elements, or kicked unter a bed to gather dust bunnies and provide the inevitable florida bugs a tasty feast.  so while i want more than anything for my children to have these beautiful, handcrafted, open-ended toys, made with love by their mama, i cannot bear the heartbreak of seeing those things destroyed.

~ the influx of shit ~

"shit" being stuff.  new stuff.  all five kids' birthdays from november to february, and xmas thrown in there.  with overly generous grandparents in the picture, i'd say we end up with AT LEAST 50 new playthings (or plat SETS) in the house during those 3 months.  that doesn't include the gifts that hubs and i receive.  it's great that the kids get fresh playthings, really.  i do not resent the generosity that provides my children with things we could never afford.  i am a minimalst at heart, and we have 7 people living in a house built for 4.  take that an add to it the garage that acts as a storage unit for everything from things we still haven't unpacked since we moved in 9 years ago (I KNOW) to things friends who lived with us for a while left, things we inherited when various elderly family members passed away, and of course, things that are no longer useful to us (outgrown clothes, toys, etc).  we just have too much stuff.  we have PLENTY of storage space.  it is just not used efficiently, and there is a ton of stuff in there that just doesn't need to be.  but i do not want to just chuck it all and be done with it, since deep in the rubble there are sentimental things from my childhood (or my children's infancy) that i truly want to keep for scrapbooks and/or memory boxes.  so to chuck everything at once would be to risk losing something precious.  (i promise, i'm not a hoarder.  really.  i'm talking memory boxes the size of a file box here.)

over the years, my children have destroyed many sentimental items of mine.  i have hardened my heart to it and told myself over and over that "they're just THINGS." but that doesn't make it any less sad.  i finally packed up the irreplaceable stuff and put it in a box on a high shelf in a locked room, to be taken back down when the kids are MUCH older.  so i get that things are just things.  i do not have a hard time deciding to get rid of things, and i have become more and more ruthless about it in the recent past.  i lamented to my husband that we get rid of things that we shouldn't HAVE to get rid of, because if we are going to be able to teach the children how to take care of things, said things (all things, not just toys, but household items, too) need to be stripped to a minimum.  so that is the idea while i cull our possessions these days.  this time of year gives us a chance to start over.  but the culling is tedious and can be very overwhelming.

~ and finally, nuclear-family-of-origin issues ~

my nuclear family of origin (mom, dad, sis) are not close.  i won't hijack this by explaining why, bc that would take days.  however, suffice it to say that the holidays rub salt into the wound that i have tried to keep swept under the rug of my consciousness.  it hurts.  i do not have a close, loving relationship that i so desperately crave with my family.  so when holidays come around and we can't get together due to schedule conflicts, i feel undervalued.  this is especially true when my sister is able to make the trip to visit our parents and i am not.  so i go to my in-laws' house and celebrate with my husband's family, all the while feeling lonely and unloved because my own family did not try harder to include me in their celebration.  and then when we DO get together, it is surface-level visiting with a slightly formal air to it.  then the (always brief) visit is over and i am left feeling abandoned again.  i have friends who are very close with their parents and siblings.  i have learned to be apathetic about it, but underneath that i am envious and wistful.  and the worst part is, i feel like it's too late to fix it.  i have closed the door of my heart to them after enduring far too many rejections.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so all of that, you see, is why i like the holiday season to pass as quickly as possible so we can get on with starting a fresh new year (and perhaps consuming an entire bottle of champagne myself on NYE, haha), and i can focus on enjoying the lovely florida winter weather.  this too shall pass.

~ namaste ~
(at least i keep telling myself that)

My Dollar Tree Shopping List

...because i see this all over pinterest and i thought it would be cool to publicly document mine, since it already exists in my phone's notepad app!  :D  you should know that i have 5 children under the age of 12, and they are VERY curious and VERY hard on things...so a lot of this list is stuff we go through like water because of their mischief and/or play.  :/

good deals:

:: timers.  i love timers and use them for everything.  you can never have enough timers!  my kids break things so this is the most affordable way to keep me in good supply.

:: baby board books

:: ziploc baggies

:: tiny trash can liners -- those super thin, scented ones on a roll that are the perfect size for a bathroom trash can.

:: emergency candles -- 6 pack!  these sell out quickly.  great when you use candles a lot, like at the dinner table or during story time.

:: kids watches.  no special features (e.g. alarm), but they tell time!  they also sell out quickly

:: seasonal decor (fake flowers, entry table decorations, etc.)

:: hair ties & clips -- since they get lost or broken so easily, i'm not paying 2-3x the price for the name brand ones!

:: funky nail polish and basic makeup -- i rarely wear makeup and the nail polish is just for kids' fun, so quality doesn't really matter.  they get the job done.  and they have a shade of lipstick that i LOVE, so it is affordable since kids tend to get into that and ruin it (and their easter dress...ahem) as well.

:: natural chap stick -- they have an all-natural beeswax chap stick that comes in 3-packs!

:: purse- or travel-size medications (ibuprofen, tylenol, gas-x, etc.)

:: pregnancy tests!  same quality as in your doctor's office.  (BUT, you can get a 20-pack for $5 on amazon, so that's definitely more worth it if you are TTC.)

:: liquid soap.  this can be hit or miss as i once bought 3 bottles of the stuff that didn't even suds in our hard water.

:: bar soap.  they carry the oatmeal/honey and the lavender bars i like so much.  i recently started buying the 3-packs of dial natural (or something like that), and i cut them in half and use them as hand soaps -- my kids are huge soap-wasters so this cuts the cost down to about $0.17/"bar".  this way, i only end up spending around $1/month on hand soap.

:: placemats

:: pot holders

:: butter dishes (flimsy, yes, but cheaply replaced when they break -- they always get broken no matter how much i pay for them!)

:: kitchen sponges & scouring sponges

:: bandaids & other basic first aid items

:: shoe laces (multipack of different lengths and colors)

:: some school/office supplies (pens, pencils, sharpeners, folders, dividers, sharpies, dry erase markers, scotch tape, workbooks for homeschooling)

:: mailing supplies (for mailing letters and shipping small things that i sell online)

:: magnetic dry erase boards (we have gone through a bunch of these since they are flimsy, but i use them to write my husband's to-do list on.)

:: wooden clothes pins -- i use them for all kinds of things, but most often as chip clips...the kids love to play with them so they get lost/broken a lot, so have to buy more every now and then.

:: kids clothes hangers.  they are an affordable way to supply myself with plenty of hangers for the big semi-annual community consignment sale.

:: tiny bottles of goo gone.  my kids tend to dump things out, so this is no big loss and i can keep them all around the house.  my one complaint is that they don't have the squirty top.

:: duct tape -- small rolls, but since my kids are also tape-wasters, having a smaller roll around means less to waste!  especially since a full roll is around $5.

:: spray bottles for DIY household cleaners (i keep them all over the house).  another hit-or-miss item; some of them are just fine, others leak right off the bat, argh!

:: playing cards -- 2-packs!  these are pretty much one-time-use items for my kids; they cannot keep a deck whole to save their lives!

:: sunglasses -- i have even found fashionable ones that fit over my eyeglasses!  and no big loss when they get scratched or broken.  i'm done buying $20 sunglasses!

:: twine.  i use it to repair woven/wicker baskets that i use for decorative storage all around the house.  also good for kids play/projects when i don't feel like having them waste a $5 skein of my yarn!

:: paring knives.  i have mostly had success with these.  once i had one that fell apart after a few uses, but the new line of brightly colored ones with matching sheath have held up just fine so far.

:: some of the storage containers -- leftover food containers seem decent, the plastic, handled tubs and baskets are too. 

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things that are NOT worth buying at dollar tree:

:: scrub brushes -- they break easily and the bristles just suck.


:: can openers -- they just straight up don't work.  better off with a $1.97 one from walmart!

:: kitchen towels (unless you like the tea towel size -- i don't; they are just glorified wash rags!)

:: microfiber cleaning cloths -- they fall apart after one wash!  i'll stick to my walmart ones, 8/$5.  much higher quality.

:: some of the storage containers -- the plastic baskets and woven/chipwood baskets are super flimsy -- they do not hold up to frequent use AT ALL.  the sterilite knock-offs are pretty thin and break easily, plus the tops tend to not fit very well and you are liable to crack it trying to get it off!

thanks for reading -- this was fun!  :)

It's a New Year, and I Quit Smoking!

My life has changed a lot just in the past few weeks. Why? Because I quit smoking on New Years Day. Yup, that's right. If you never knew I smoked, well, ya do now. (Woohoo!) I smoked full time for 13 years. It was part of me -- part of my identity (you know, that dark genius vibe - HEH), a major part of my mood-stabilizing medication regimen, and a BIG source of shame for me. BIG.

This is me sitting in my chair on the back porch, ritualistically smoking my Last Cigarette on New Years Day (in the morning...I am also hungover. The plan was to smoke my last one right before bed the night before, but I drank a whole bottle of champagne on an empty stomach and didn't even make it to midnight....yeah.....)

So, it's been quite an experience so far. I have had days where I am totally confident, days where I suddenly dipped into a severely depressed state, days when I feel like a heroin addict must feel while detoxing (I don't really know how else to describe it...like feeling like I wanted to jump out of my own skin). I made it through those infamous "first 3 days", slipped on day 7 (BAD, BAD day. freaking out. but that cig tasted like ashes, so that was a good thing to experience), then again on day 10 (this neighbor bitch stole my cell phone and we were dealing with the cops...again, the cig tasted like an ash tray). So then I make it to the 2 week mark. I have made it through both of the "hardest" parts. But yet, I still have cravings. STRONG cravings. The nicotine gum and lozenges don't hit me fast enough when I really, really need a nic hit QUICK.

I guess the difference now, is that I am used to not being able to smoke. I'm just used to having to deal with the cravings. The cravings still totally suck. Even typing this, all I want to do it go light up. I keep reminding myself about how bad it tasted those 2 times I slipped, and how I can still get that nicotine through a piece of gum or a lozenge (but that is so TIME CONSUMING -- it takes 30 minutes to get the full dose from one of those things!). So, on top of all my other meds, I'm somehow surviving, but my moods are all over the place and my mental illness is more apparent now than it has been in a loooong time. Just like I was afraid it would be. And I hate it. I mean, I gave up a mood stabilizing drug that has been coursing through my brain on a regular basis since before my brain was fully formed. (I think. I'm actually not sure at what age the brain is fully formed, but I was 16 when I started smoking regularly, and hooked at 17.)

I have had a lot of anger and resentment surrounding my quitting, actually. I did not quit because I wanted to. I did not quit because I was ready to. I quit because I felt like I HAD to. We simply cannot afford to support my smoking habit anymore. We are living on grants and loans as my husband finishes college. Smoking is too expensive. The guilt about the money we were spending on cigarettes was suddenly too much. Then, of course, there is the shame and humiliation of being a smoker when the rest of my life/social circle/philosophies are soooo nowhere NEAR smoke-friendly. (I AM bipolar, you know. ha. ha.) It was the one vice I had brought with me from my youth. Of course I could see all the good things about quitting. But I DIDN'T WANT TO. So, as a result, I often have periods of sullen resentment toward...my family? society? the world? existence? I didn't want to quit. I wasn't ready.

This is an excerpt from an email I sent to a friend several years ago, trying to explain my addiction to her:

the addiction is stronger than i am. it is stronger than my love for my children. and that sucks. but, it is basically part of my treatment for my crazy-lady issues, and the doctors have even told me not to worry too much about it. for some people (like me), quitting can be more detrimental than continuing to smoke, depending on the circumstances. i know it sounds totally ridiculous. the statistics about people like me (bipolar) are scary. we have shorter life spans due to reckless behavior (which i guess smoking could be considered one), and a huge majority of us smoke.

for me, it was not long ago that the thought of quitting would literally cause me to panic. i want to quit for all the right reasons, but that want is only 49%... the other 51% is the addiction telling me i can't live without it, and that's the dominant part. that has caused be to become defensive about my smoking, because i KNOW it's awful but the addiction is too powerful.

i have always been very self-conscious and ashamed about the fact that i smoke. i don't advertise it because i know people judge -- i'm either ignorant white trash or crazy. either way, i don't want to be judged any more than i already am for things i really CAN'T hide. not that it's that easy to hide the fact that i smoke. i know i probably stink most of the time.

my mom gave me such a complex about it because she's probably the most anti-smoking person on earth. i remember her disgusted snarls when she smelled, saw, or just TALKED about smoking when i was growing up. and when i became addicted as a teenager, i was everything my mother hated. isn't that what every teenage girl wants? ;)

well, that was one part of my past that i couldn't leave behind. i took the addiction and the shame into adulthood. i'm supposed to be myself and not worry about what other people think of me, but i don't want to burn bridges either, ya know? so many people have told me to get over it, own it, if they don't like me for me then sod 'em! well, that's easier said than done, especially when you want to surround yourself with positive influences, not many of which smoke (because it's bad for you and your children and it costs too much money and you stink, blah, blah, blah, thanks mom). i have always tried to be respectful of other people's hatred of smoking by not doing in front of them, going far away from them to do so, avoiding children as much as possible, etc.

i recently confronted my mom about my shame, and she assured me that she doesn't see my sister and me as monsters because we smoke, and that she doesn't think i love my children any less. that made me feel better. it's ridiculous how powerful our mothers' words are, regardless of our age.

So, I finally became (deep breath) ready after contacting the Florida Quitline. They did a Quit Coach session with me over the phone after some initial screening questions. We went over my history and my triggers, and developed a plan. They sent me (for free) 2 weeks worth of nicotine patches and a quit smoking guide (which was very helpful -- full of checklists and exercises to help you prepare). I put the rest of the supplies I would need for the 8 week program on my Christmas list, and got them! They have an online support forum which I spent a bit of time in before my quit date came up, but have since abandoned it, for some reason (too many other social networks?). I had a few weeks to mentally prepare, and when Quit Day came, I was ready.

Anyhoo, that's all I have to say about that right now. I have a whole 'nuther post planned about all the awesome changes that have occurred since I quit. There was a day a few weeks ago when I cried to my husband, saying "Why didn't I do this sooner?"...

Conclusions from the Flats and Handwash Challenge

My answers to the exit survey (a lot of the questions did not offer an exact answer for me, so I had to choose the closest answer):

General

- I took this challenge because I wanted to prove handwashing is possible for low income families.

- I had never used flats before this challenge.

- One "newborn" participated (well, she's 6 months old, but not crawling yet, so...)

- The poop situation was "newborn/breastfed" (technically, she's an early eater, but just barely, so not enough to be considered "peanut butter poop" ;))

- Rashes: we did not have rashes before or during the challenge.


Flats

- How many? I said "20-24"

- What kind? 20 flour sack towels and a few Gerber Birdseye flats used as doublers for night time.

- I estimated that I spent "1-3 hours" (total) researching folds.
I perused different tutorials for a while a few times, experimented with folding, then tried out several folds on the baby in the weeks before the challenge began.

- The fold I used the most was ("other")the angel fold
...basically the pad fold with the top corners pulled out to make a poo pocket. :) However, I did have to make an adjustment to the rise of the dipe, which meant that there were only 6 layers in the very front, 12 right at her pee exit area :) and then about 4 layers at the back.

- The hardest part about using flats was "learning how to use them."

- Covers: I used "sized PUL covers" (Thirsties velcro, size medium)

- Accessory I feel is a must: "drying rack"
It was great to have a portable drying rack that I could hang the dipes on straight from where I was washing them (if desired) and then follow the sunlight around the yard if I needed to. (I would have said washboard if that had been an option, because I thought it was really great for scrubbing poo stains out.)

- Estimated value of my flats challenge stash: "$75-100"

$20 ..... 20 dipes (flour sack towels)
$44 ..... 4 Thirsties covers ($11/ea at Nicki's Diapers)
$20 ..... wooden drying rack (like this one)
$10 ..... washboard (new, from our local flea market...unable to find web link, sorry)
$94 ..... TOTAL

Ideally, I would suggest 25 dipes, 5 covers, and 2 drying racks, which would put start-up costs at $120...and this also does not account for wipes (mine are double-layer flannel, mostly handmade by me out of old receiving blankets, so essentially this could be "free"), and soap (both for wipe solutions and washing the dipes), but I guess people would already have some baby shampoo and laundry detergent on hand...


Washing

- My washing method: "sink with hands"
I washed in the kitchen sink the most times (as described here), but I did try the "bathtub with hands" method once, for the very last washing (described here).

- I disposed of solid waste by: "dunk and swish"
(Actually, there wasn't much solid waste, as baby is EBF'ed and having tiny tastes of solids now, but I pre-rinsed the poopy dipes in the bathroom sink to make it easier to scrub the stains off, and "dunk and swish" was the closest answer to that.)

- How hard was handwashing (scale of 1-5)? I said "3" because the actual handwashing wasn't difficult, in theory, but it was quite hard on my back.

- How time-consuming was handwashing (scale of 1-5)? I said "3" here too.
I found the washing/wringing/hanging to be quite time-consuming, but I tried to compare it to the involvement of resetting the washing machine, adding soaps and such, transferring to dryer, waiting and waiting and waiting...so I figured it's not that much worse than machine-washing, just that it occurs in a more concentrated time frame.

- How clean were my diapers (scale of 1-5)? I said "5 - very clean."
Whatever minor staining I did not scrub off with soap and the washboard got sunned out while they were drying.

- I washed "whenever it was convenient and dried outside."
I did end up having to bring the racks in to finish drying after sunset a few times, and once, I had to dry inside the whole time because it was monsooning outside, heheh.

- The most difficult part of handwashing: "the physical effort" (with "the time commitment" being a close second).
As I have said before, I have a bad back. 'Nuff said.

- The least difficult part of handwashing: "getting the diapers clean." That was surprisingly easy.


Impressions/Opinions

- Do I think others could do this if they had to if they were given the proper education and tools? Absolutely!!!

- If I was in a washerless situation, would I do this full time? As much as possible.
(This is one of those things that I feel I can't answer in absolutes due to differing possible circumstances, like whether there is any money for back-up 'sposies, etc., because if there wasn't, I would definitely do this full time, but if there was...well, I might need to give my back a break every now and then.)

- The most surprising aspect of this challenge? That my diapers were clean!
I don't know why this was so surprising; I mean, everyone used to handwash everything and things got clean, duh. I guess I just figured it would take a lot more effort than it did to get them clean...it really puts into perspective how dependent we have become on modern technology, because really, a human can do a better job than a machine at many things (think: attention to detail ;)), getting stuff clean included.

- I washed "10+" flats at one time (once as many as 20! That was cutting it close!).
I think if I were to do this all the time (use flats, I mean, not the handwashing part), I would definitely not want to wait that long...I'd aim to wash every 1.5-2 days (tops), so that I would not be so anxious about things getting dry by the time I needed them (I was totally imagining having baby wear a regular kitchen towel if it got to that!). Luckily, flats dry fast. ;)

- It took my flats "2-3 hours" to dry.
In all honesty, I might have been able to answer "less than 2 hours," but I didn't pay that much attention to them and wasn't checking on them at regular intervals. I just waited several hours (probably 2-3), checked them, and they were dry. The times I had to bring them in because it got dark, or the time I had to dry them indoors completely, it may have taken slightly longer, but again, I don't really know...(apparently I'm lazy! LOL)

- I washed "2-3" covers at a time, which could be rather nerve-wracking since I only had 4 (my 5th cover was just a big wool soaker for use over the night diaper, was not terribly useful for anything else, since I couldn't find a fold that worked with pins/snappis that was useful, absorbancy-wise). I would have to carefully examine the covers before a washing to see which ones needed it most (e.g. ones that had gotten poo on them, which I carefully wiped off so they could be used again before washing time rolled around). Only once did I have to was 3 at once, and it was nerve-wracking.

- I approximated that it took my covers "3-5 hours" to dry.
The parts that took the longest to dry were the edge bindings and (especially) the front panel where the velcro is, as it is double-layered there. I imagine the Thirsties covers are among the fastest-drying PUL covers, though, as the inner layer is slick and not absorbent (unlike the Bummis covers, for example, which are very difficult to wipe out and reuse in the case of a major poo-splosion, and would, IMO, not be suitable for using in this type of [flats/handwash] situation).

- My favorite thing about the challenge: "storing flats" (i.e. seeing them neatly folded in a stack on the changing table shelves?).
I didn't really like this question's answer options (washing, folding, hanging); I wish it had an "other" fill-in-the-blank option, in which I would have said "The sense of good that I was doing, treading lightly on the Earth as well as our pocketbook." ;)

- My least favorite thing about the challenge: the handwashing (ahem, BAD BACK).

- Will I continue to use flats in my every day diaper rotation? Maybe.
There were many pros about using flats, including the ease of getting them clean due to being one layer, the natural material of the dipes (which to me would imply that stripping would rarely be needed), the low cost of flats, the versatility of items that can be used as flats (e.g. flour sack towels that I used, or flannel receiving blankets which can be acquired very easily, cheaply, or sometimes free if you have the right hook-up! I discussed this in this post).
On the other hand, I do enjoy the convenience and cuteness of my pockets (Fuzzibunz) and all-in-ones (Bumgenius), but don't particularly like the fact they are made entirely of synthetic materials, which make them hot and sweaty in the summertime (and not too Earth-friendly), and they need to be stripped a lot, due to residue build-ups and the resulting stinky smells (which I admittedly use bleach for, occasionally, depending on the severity of the stink). [Haha, in that last sentence I was talking about Earth-friendliness, then mentioned using bleach. Ha. I'm so paradoxical.] The stink, in fact, has in the past caused me to switch entirely to natural materials (cotton fitteds and wool soakers), but our house has been re-piped since then, and a filter installed, so our "bad water" issues are no more, making synthetic dipes possible to use again. At this point, I don't know what my diaper stash will look like when baby outgrows her current ones...0

And, last question (other than my personal comments, which I think I have addressed well enough in this post!):
Would you like more information about donating to Giving Diapers, Giving Hope, a foundation helping provide cloth diapers to those in need? I said YES!

Thank you so much to Kim at Dirty Diaper Laundry for organizing this wonderful learning experience!

Wrapping It Up: Day 7 of the Flats Challenge

Tomorrow morning I will be dumping diapers into the washing machine for the first time in over a week. WHEW. My back is killing me. I know that if I had to handwash in order to cloth diaper, I would. But man. Mother Nature blessed me with a slightly crooked spine, and that makes this kind of thing extra stressful and painful. I would probably have to experiment more with washing methods to figure out which is the least stressful on my back, as I only did the kitchen sink method (as described in the previous post), and then the bathtub just once (this last washing...which I waited waaay too long to do and ended up with 20 dipes to wash!). Regretfully, I didn't take any pictures of the bathtub method (sorry -- i know, bad blogger!), but I will describe it in detail below:

1. Dump out wet pail in tub to drain. Lean on pile of wet dipes to help squeeze out excess water (the poopy ones had been pre-rinsed in the sink prior to being thrown into the wet pail).

2. Plug drain and start hot water running, with lye soap bar sitting in the tub near the faucet. Place washboard in tub in scrubbing position. Separate the poopy dipes to one side of the washboard -- these will be soaped and scrubbed first to provide more suds for the rest of the stuff. (Trying not to over-soap again.) Shut off water when everything is covered (about 6" deep).

3. Soap the board and scrub each poopy diaper until all the poop is out. Do the same for poop-stained wipes, and nursing pads (not that they are poo-stained, just that I want to make sure they're extra clean). Stir everything together for a minute in the hot soapy water using large, wooden laundry paddle (I felt like I was sitting on the edge of a canoe, paddling the inside of it, heheh). Drain water, sweep everything to the end of the tub away from the drain, knead/press/squeeze out remaining water.

4. Replug drain, turn on warm water again. Fill to about 6" again, and shut off water. Stir with laundry paddle for a minute or two, lifting and dunking each dipe by hand. Drain water, sweep everything to the end of the tub away from the drain, kneed/press/squeeze out remaining water.

5. Repeat #4 for second rinse. After draining, wring each item thoroughly and toss into awaiting laundry basket.

6. Set up wooden racks outside, snap out each item (3x each per diaper -- woooo! the misting!) and drape over racks neatly.


I did this pretty late in the day and only had a few hours (or less) of sunshine left, so I had to bring them in and sit the racks under an A/C vent again. It was cutting it really close because I needed to have dipes dry by the time Brigit's bedtime rolled around (which is different every night, heheh). It ended up fine; the dipes were dry enough, and the covers were just slightly damp in the front velcro area, but she didn't seem to mind. :)

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One thing I noticed during this last wash was that the dipes were feeling a little sticky as I wrung, snapped, and hung them up. I think there was a build-up of lye soap residue. I haven't seen any irritation on Baby's bum, nor any repelling, but I do usually use white vinegar in the first rinse cycle in my washer, so perhaps I should have been doing that with the handwashing as well. Oh well. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash (HA!) tomorrow. I mean, the fault can't be with the lye soap alone; it used to be the only option, and people still managed to cloth diaper (um...also the only option at the time ;)).

I do think that if handwashing dipes became an absolute necessity for me, I would not only do lots of experimenting to find the most back-friendly method, but I would most definitely employ some of my children, at least some of the time, to help. Hey, that's why people have lotsa kids...right??? Heeheehee...

Oh, and one more thing...I am seriously considering switching to flats!!! Like, full time! I am really impressed with them, and so thankful that this challenge introduced them to me! But, I will leave the details about that for my next post, in which I will publish my answers to the Challenge's exit survey. Stay tuned! :D

What I've Learned So Far...Day 5 of the "Flats and Handwashing Challenge"

This week has been interesting. As you may know, I am taking part in the Flats and Handwashing Challenge. Lots of experimenting (but perhaps not enough), lots of aching back muscles. I have found that the actual use of the flats has been no big deal. Sure, they hold less than my fancy dipes and thus have to be changed more often, but that's okay. Brigit is not used to not having a stay-dry liner, so she "asks" to be changed more often anyway. Always keeping us on our toes, that one!

My stash includes 20 (27"x28") flour sack towels (which I am essentially pad-folding with an angel wing poo-pocket), 4 medium Thirsties velcro covers, and a big wool soaker (handknit by me) for over the night diaper. (I am also adding a smaller pad-folded Gerber Flat (about 27"x24") inside the flour sack flat for overnight. No problems so far.) Yes, I am doing this overnight, too, even though the rules state that I don't have to. :D I realize that I could technically have one more regular cover and not count the soaker, but I already had 4 Thirsties covers and the snappi/pins thing just doesn't work well for us, so my ample supply of soakers and other pull-on covers (like these Dappi ones) was kind of useless this week. Incidentally, I am also including my flannel wipes and washable nursing pads in the handwashing. I chose to only use my Dr. Brown's nursing pads and none of my Milk Diapers (which I usually use overnight) because they are thicker and I was concerned about drying time, especially if I had no direct sunshine available (which in Florida, with random thunderstorms, you just never know), I worry about mildew from the humidity and too-long drying times.

This is the routine I've worked out so far (this may still change if I happen to wash again before the challenge ends):

Pail: wet (also serving as presoak). I'm pretty much keeping it in the bathtub, and running more and more water into it as the day goes on to make sure everything in there stays good and saturated. I've also discovered that it makes washing easier if I rinse the poopy ones in the sink (it's EBF poo, so, not too nasty). I squirt 5-6 squirts of half-diluted Biokleen Bac-Out over the mess a few times a day, too.

Wash: I am using my kitchen sink, old fashioned lye soap, and a washboard that I picked up for $10 at our local flea market. So...

1. Dump soaked dipes from pail into right side of sink to drain. Meanwhile, left side of sink is filling with hot water, with the bar of lye soap sitting on the bottom of the sink.

2. Squeeze pail/presoak water out of each individual item and plop it into the hot/soapy sink. Fish out the bar of soap, lather it up (as if washing my hands) then dunk bar and sudsy hands a few times, then place soap bar at the top of the washboard on the soap lip/shelf. Washboard is now perched legs-down in the sink.

3. Agitate the hot/soapy sink fulla dipes with a wooden cooking spoon. Start taking each piece and scrubbing on the washboard. Pee dipes are scrubbed very briefly, as the swishing and dunking in hot/soapy water seem fairly adequate for cleaning them. (I may skip the actual scrubbing of pee dipes next time, and stick to swish/stir/dunk.) Poopy dipes get spot treatment with soap, and extra washboard scrubbing until the poo stains are gone (taking much less work than I expected). As each piece is processed, it is re-dunked in the soapy water, wrung out, and plopped into the right sink (which has been filling with clear, cold water this whole time).

4. Drain left (hot/soapy) sink, spray out soap residue, etc., replug and fill with clear, cold water for second rinse. Swish/knead/stir the dipes in the first rinse water (right side sink). Take piece by piece, dunk, wring, and plop into second rinse sink.

5. Repeat #4 (except don't fill another sink with rinse water unless you used way too much soap originally -- don't ask how I know that :)). This time, wring extra well, and snap out a few times to get even more water out.

This pic would be my third rinse from day 1 when I used waaay too much soap. *blush*



6. Hang to dry on the wooden drying rack. I have two of them and ended up using both for today's wash, as I waited a little longer than before and the one rack was pretty crowded before anyway. Place rack in sunshine (not so today -- it started to storm just as I was finishing up the second rinse...so my racks are blocking the entryway now, positioned under the A/C vent ;)).

Please pardon the naked 3-year-old in the background. LOL



The whole process takes 1-1.5 hrs and really hurts my back (remember, my spine is a chiropractor's challenge and is easily strained by moderate physical labor). That, and my baby inevitably started to fuss/whine/cry at some point during each washing session, when I would attempt to employ various older siblings to play with her and keep her happy for just a few more minutes... She did end up on my hip for a few stages of each washing session, which made it take that much longer. I know I could have put her on my back in the Ergo, but...well, I didn't. I was afraid the double strain on my back by wearing a 21 lb fatty on my back while hunching over the sink would end up forcing me to drop out of this challenge. :(

Like I said, I may be tweaking things a little more before Monday morning rolls around... (and PS - I might add more pics later ;))

"Big Families are the New Green" (Part 1)

These are my (rather long-winded) thoughts in response to this article.

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Cars Count

I have often thought about how "efficient" it is that we cram 7 people into one vehicle on a regular basis. Sure, our 10-year-old minivan gets a measly 15mpg on average (city), but that's actually better per capita than a family of four driving a 45mpg hybrid (if my mental pseudo-math is correct). We do go places often, unlike the author of the article suggests. I try to get out of the house every day, even if only to the grocery store (and that, preferably with just one or two children in tow). We go to parks, homeschool events, the library, and playdates at friends' houses. And these things are located all over the metropolis, which isn't very green, perhaps, but at least our metropolis is relatively small compared to most -- the furthest we ever go is 30 minutes or less away from home, most being 5-15 minutes.

I have dreams of owning a Toyota Highlander Hybrid someday (seats 8 ;)), but that's like, what, $35,000? Not happening anytime soon. :/ My husband's car might not get much better gas mileage than our van, but he often fills it to capacity to go work out at the YMCA (while children play with friends in Childwatch). He drives to class at the college, yes. I have repeatedly considered becoming a one-car family, but just don't see how we could swing it without some major inconveniences. Not to mention that the resale value of our second car (9 years old) is pretty low, especially considering how many repairs it needs that we cannot afford on our current starving-student budget. The profits we would earn from its sale would not be worth it. Anyway, the point is that our big family makes the most of our vehicles. :)


Economy Size

Yes, it takes the same amount of electricity to light and cool (or heat, for a very brief part of the year) our home, no matter how many people inhabit it. We definitely use more water than most families, at least for laundry. I estimate that we have 10-15 loads of laundry to wash per week. We do have a "super capacity" washing machine, but it is an old-fashioned, lotsa water and agitator washer. We actually have an energy star certified washing machine in the garage that we purchased a few years back when hubby was working for Sears as a lawn and garden appliance repair technician (the job that he lost due to lay-offs in May 2009). We discovered, after 6 months of use, that this type of machine does not work for our needs right now. It does not get the job done for diapers or our children's filthy clothing. It will sit and collect dust in the garage until our current washer dies, or our children grow older and get less dirty, heh (and are all out of diapers). Either that, or we'll sell it...that's actually more likely.

As for bathing, that's another area where we are perhaps less than green. When the children were younger, we would combine their baths, to the point that it probably equaled an average-sized family's bathing habits. Nowadays, though, and perhaps this is just because it's Springtime and thus wonderful outside play weather, but the children are getting terribly dirty, and sometimes require 2 baths a day! Lately, before we can go anywhere, I have to do a wash face/hands/feet marathon with the children. Boy, do they love dirt. :D We still combine baths, though, and are now transitioning to showers often, which, with our low-flow shower heads, I'm hoping use less water than their "up to your belly-button" baths.

Then there's dishes. I think we only use about 1-1.5 dishwasher loads a day, but i'm sure we'd produce more if I cooked/baked from scratch more often (which would certainly be a greener choice, and is definitely a goal!).


~ To be continued... ~

The Flats and Handwashing Challenge! (and a tiny blog makeover)

I have taken some time this morning to make a lot of changes here on my blog in order to make it more...appropriate...for the public eye. I hid several posts that are very personal and/or FML-style venting. I want to be able to use this blog for positive things, more like recording the happy memories and successful accomplishments, as well as participating in all these fun blog events I keep seeing . (see this post.)

Example: The Flats and Handwashing Challenge. (Thank you to One Rich Mother for the heads up!) I have purchased 20 flour sack towels (about 27"x28") for a grand total of ~$20, and I'm gearing up to do this challenge, May 23rd-30th. The goal of the experiment is to prove that poor families who struggle to afford disposable diapers for their babies can save money (and help the earth!) by using cloth diapers, even if they have no washing machine. And as I have proven above, a modest stash of flat diapers can be purchase new for about the same cost as 2 weeks worth of name-brand disposables. Covers are a different story, though...I will be using self-made wool soakers and pull-on Dappi nylon covers that I already own. If one can knit, wool yarn for one soaker can be purchased for $4 on sale, and the Dappi covers are super cheap as far as decent covers go...but they do run big. I got all of mine here. I ended up using my Thirsties covers instead, because I rediscovered my hatred of Snappis.

The reason behind using flats is that they are the easiest to handwash, being only one layer of fabric (requiring less agitation than multi-layer diapers). Also, they are the easiest form of cloth diaper to come across, since all they are is a big square of cotton fabric, and anything from dish towels to t-shirts to receiving blankets can be used as such. Flannel receiving blankets, in fact, are typically 30"x30", which is the perfect size for a flat diaper, and such blankets are popular baby shower gifts that are practically useless after the first month or two of a baby's life. Therefore, they are cheap and easy to come by in thrift shops and garage sales (or a friend's attic ;)).

I am choosing to participate in this challenge to help contribute to the data collected to prove that cloth diapers are doable even on the tightest budget. Being poor is near and dear to my heart; I have been dirt broke multiple times in my adulthood, right now being one of those times (hubby is a full-time student, so our income consists of grants, loans, and other types of government assistance). I am thankful to already own a decent stash of CDs, and was even able to squeeze out the funds to purchase supplies for this challenge (and they weren't that much! I spent $30!).

I want to go to our local flea market and buy a washboard (~$10) to use during the challenge. I plan on using lye soap, too (which I already own). That way, I'm not only participating in the challenge, but I'm also getting to experience what it was like to wash diapers back in the pioneer days (an age with which I am thoroughly obsessed). :D I will be washing the dipes in my double kitchen sink with said washboard and lye soap. I'd originally planned to buy a washtub as well, in order to get the full pioneer experience, but then I realized that that would require hauling water, and...well...no thanks. :)

And now, I am going to go throw all my new "flats" into the washer (gasp!) for a prepping. :)