Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Realizing Who I Really Am

This "temporary" housecleaning thing looks like it may be morphing into a full-blown business! I’ve gotten lots of appointments, some repeat clients, and several potential long-term regular gigs! Friends have been encouraging me to start my own business for a while, but I just wasn't ready. I am now. :) 

My experience with corporate/office jobs has been horrible. I'm not meant to have a boss. I was constantly living in fear of disappointing others, and feeling resentful for having to "do what I'm told" instead of using my own brain. My last boss was downright emotionally abusive. I won't tolerate that! That's just not how I roll!

I spent a decade honing my homemaking skills and now the demand on those skills is much, much lower than it used to be. My kids are older now, most are in school, they’re only with me half-time, and they are happy and helpful when they are around. My house is tiny and the clutter level is at an all-time low, so cleaning/upkeep is a joke compared to the past. And if this doesn’t make the point nothing will: I used to do 10-12 loads of laundry per week. Now I do 2-3. Yes, it's that different. 

So these days I'm loose in a world where you typically have to have a "real job" with a regular paycheck in order to survive. Well? No. I have been thinking a lot about my life lately since quitting my god-awful office job, and I've decided that I have to take matters into my own hands. I don't have a degree to have a "legit" career in helping others, but I know a lot about a lot, and they ARE things that can earn me money. I enjoy doing what I'm good at, and "blessing" others with my talents brings me joy. So i'm gonna do it! I have been working toward this for years, really. I have notebooks full of ideas. I have taken some preliminary steps but never took them to the next level. And I have TONS of supplies.

I enjoy cleaning. It brings me satisfaction on several levels. When I was working deep-cleaning vacated apartments this summer, my mom asked me if I liked my job (because being a “maid” is so below my intelligence level). I told her I loved it; I was getting paid to exercise, listen to music and sing, and meditate (with the rhythmic nature of cleaning)…and then I had beautiful results to show for it! I am very good at cleaning, and I even learned some new tricks working as a professional! I am also good at organizing (love my label maker, haha!), purging (like walking people through the psychological process and offering objective insight), mending, dishes, laundry…years and years of experience (and high standards), insight I have gained, and lessons I have learned the hard way over the past several years have brought me to the next level in these areas. I want to bless people’s homes and families!

I love to make things, and I'm good at it. A long time ago I opened an Etsy store to sell my green/natural handmade toys and baby/household items, but I never once posted anything for sale. I also made a facebook page to launch myself in the local small business scene. But my life was too busy, exhausting, and chaotic. It was just a dream that never came into fruition. I want to make magic with my hands and be able to bring joy to others. And this kind of work can be done when my kids are around and I can squeeze it in or make it family crafting time (which they LOVE).

I love to write. I have so many articles and even whole entire books in my head, just waiting to be put onto paper. I've been journaling and writing stories since I was able to do so, and I have a box full of every single journal/diary I've ever had. I have 5 blogs and participated in a collaborative one several years ago. We are all Moms of Many and it became overwhelming for us and petered out, but we got a decent amount of publicity while it lasted. Brigit’s birth story alone has had thousands of views just on my personal blogs. 

I’ve wanted to be a published author since I was a little girl, but that always got pushed to the back burner for two reasons: I’ve considered it to be a “starving artist” type of career that was not a stable choice, and (most importantly) I have a serious fear of letting people read some of the things I want to write about. Fear of criticism, judgment, and even attacks by those people I may write about (I totally see being sued by my ex or his parents for libel…even though it’s all true). Anyway, now I am finally willing to explore this as a supplementary career choice. I am reading up on how to get started as a freelance writer so that I can gain encouragement and inspiration. I told Man Friend last night: my goal is to have a book published by the time I’m 40. that gives me a little over 6 years. :P

So. Now that I have been a single mom and the sole breadwinner for a while and tried several things, I am finally coming to terms with who I’m really meant to be. I am not meant to be tamed. I can work for myself and do things that I enjoy, and pay my bills with hopefully some leftover and enough to save for the future. Such a variety of work and it never gets boring! I can make my own hours and work around my custody schedule with my kids so that I can still be present for them like I was when I was a SAHM.

So I guess I’m about to launch two businesses. One for cleaning and one for handmade items. The freelance writing will be a background project until I figure out where I’m going with it.

The future is bright!