Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Life these days...

There is sososososososooooo much to blog about, but I can never seem to find the time. But the more I put it off, the more there is to blog about! So I will get started already and probably have to add on more later.

So, Connor is almost 3 months old now, and life is sort of falling into a routine as far as he is concerned. I have been nursing him exclusively, but I picked up a nasty bacterial infection (probably at the damn hospital) that was making nursing excruciatingly painful. I thought it was thrush and took meds for that for 2 weeks, with no results. Then they put me on antibiotics and sent a sample of my milk to the lab for a culture. The results came back positive for pseudomonas bacteria, a resistant little bugger that my grandfather DIED from (but he was old and had emphysema). So it turned out I was on the wrong meds for a week, and poor baby has horrible GI issues because of it. They put me on the correct rx, and things started to get better, but 36 hours after my last dose the pain was back. So I went on a second course of it, which I finished 3 days ago. So far, no more pain. I feel like such a martyr, since manymanymany mothers would have weaned because of this. But dammit, I'm going to nurse this child until he doesn't;t want it anymore. I feel very strongly about this.

Kieran got diagnosed with mild Autism on April 4, which, coincidentally, happens to be Autism Awareness Day. HA! He has been in speech therapy for about 10 weeks now, and is improving by leaps and bounds. I am still researching treatments for him... it will take a while with everything else going on.

Then the other major issues lately are regarding school for the kids. I am unhappy with the public school that Robby's been going to. He has unique needs because of his ADHD, and has been having behavior problems because the atmosphere is not meeting those needs. Thus, I have been researching "unschooling", an interest-based, curriculum-free form of homeschooling. I have changed my college major again to a General Behavioral and Social Sciences AA degree, so that I can do everything online until my prepaid runs out, and then take a nice, long break from school until the kids are MUCH older.

Then there's the twins schooling. With the huuuge difference in their cognitive development, they are probably going to have to be indifferent grades, which will be humiliating for both of them since they are twins. Homeschooling them as well would eliminate that problem, since there ARE no "grades". Not to mention that I'm feeling horribly guilty about having them in "school" at all since Connor was born. Their behavior is telling me that they are feeling neglected, and it's tugging on my heartstrings. :( I have come to the conclusion that the convenience of dumping my kids off with practical strangers every day is not worth the psychological abandonment issues that may surface down the road for them. I have four kids, it's time I acted like it!

I know everyone's worried about my sanity, and rightfully so. So am I. I am just going to have to figure out a way to adapt. My maternal instincts are going haywire right now, and the mama bear is coming out. The preschool is pressuring me about the twins' potty-training, but my strong-willed children will NOT be forced into ANYTHING. Nor should they be. Robby was the same way. Granted, having babies 3 years apart is not great for potty-training anyway; the new baby/babies always cause backsliding and rebellion in that department. I have found that leaving the decision up to the child will result in a more peaceful potty-training experience for everyone. But the twins can't move to the preschool class until they are completely trained, and they "can't stay in the transition class forever." Hint, hint.

Also, interesting anecdote here, Robby had been letting some neighborhood children jump our fence to play with him, and I was not comfortable with the idea since I don't know their parents. Well, I was trying to turn a blind-eye to it since it was keeping Robby occupied, but yesterday, it ended forever. In a span of five minutes, these boys flashed their crotches, kicked over a stack of books and laundry basket full of clean clothes on my porch, threw mulch and sticks at each other, and when I told them to leave, a SIX YEAR OLD BOY said to his friend "Come on, let's get the fuck out of here." OMG!!!!!!! My jaw hit the ground. I told them they were never welcome back and that if they entered my yard again, it would be trespassing and I would call the cops.

Okay, that's about it... baby's crying, gotta go stick a boob in his mouth!

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